Inside each of us there is a kind of experiential measuring stick, a sense of the disparity between how we actually live and the "ideals" we hold so dear. Some of these ideals are part and parcel of our own biology and essence. Some are drummed into us from the outside by our family, friends, educators, society, and culture. And some may even come from something higher in ourselves. Whatever their source, however, these ideals are all mixed together in the rather messy being that I call myself.
For most of us, even a momentary glimpse of the disparity between our ideals and how we actually live arouses the desire for perfection, the desire to somehow alter and perfect those aspects of ourselves and our lives that we believe would make us better, more desirable, more creative, or more enlightened people. Whether it is a desire for success, a desire for happiness, a desire for spiritual development, or some mixture of all of these, our desire for perfection gives us a potent sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. It sheds a kind of magical light on everything that we think, feel, and do. It becomes the springboard for many of our actions and re-actions, a springboard for becoming what we think we should be. As one begins to look at one’s inner and outer worlds from the perspective of "the desire for perfection," one begins to see just how much of our lives, and the life of society itself, is bound up in this quest. How many relationships, how many businesses, how many wars, how many religions, how many cults, have been founded on this desire?
If one thinks carefully about the desire for perfection, one sees that with this desire comes a particular relationship to time, a relationship in which "tomorrow" and what I believe I am lacking assumes greater importance than today and what I already have. If only I had more time, more money, a better job, a better relationship, and so on and so forth. There is obviously nothing wrong with wanting these things as long as I am able to remember that the miracle of life is right now in this very instant, and that this instant is complete. There is nothing else that is needed—except?
In this regard, one might be tempted, as many serious thinkers have been, to pit the desire for being against the desire for becoming, for becoming more perfect. One might be tempted to say that being, especially being in the moment, is all that really matters. That all the rest is somehow a distraction. These thinkers, of course, are unaware that they have simply created a new goal, a new state of perfection, to which we should all aspire. "Be here, now," the pundits tell us. So what could be a natural, normal experience, now becomes an imperative, a goal, a new state of perfection. Now we measure each other by our presence, or lack of it. No, what is needed are not new definitions of perfection. What is needed is simply the honest observation of what we are, of our emotional and mental distractions, our psychological messiness, our Gods and demons—in short, our humanness. What is needed is a global perception, a perception of our real motives and impulses. There is no perfection in this, and no imperfection. There is only love. The love that accepts whatever it sees and hears and goes on loving and seeing and listening because loving and seeing and listening are what human beings are all about. It is this non-egoistic love of ourselves as we are, as we respond or don’t respond to the demands of the moment, that quite naturally takes us to the next moment with its new demands and new responses. And who knows? Perhaps if we were to live this way, willing to experience the truth, the perfection we seek in our heart of hearts might suddenly appear.